Monthly Archive for April, 2009

‘Out to get the bargains I see…’  I said acknowledging a very familiar face in the freezer isle of  ALDI’s.

Meeting someone in this kind of situation can really go one of two ways. The less ashamed laugh it off and crack a joke, I mean lets face it, it’s the only shop you can buy a 9 foot dinghy and a welding mask with a pepperoni pizza. The other way can only be described as when you bump into your primary school teacher loitering around the World Cinema and Adult section that they used to have Chartbusters.

This has been the later.

‘Eh yeah, the flyer fell out of the Sunday Business Post and I thought I might pop in to see what the big fuss was about ya know…’

I just nod, I’ve seen the bunch of previously bought freezer and shopping bags with ALDI all over them that he bought on his last visit stashed in the bottom of the trolley. Then I hear the unmistaken clatter of the high heels behind him as the mutton dressed as lamb comes into view trying to balance out the stack of assorted frozen foods boxes with her very fake Louis Vitton in the other.

‘oh, eh, hi Ben, how are you…’

The girl should rediscover the wonder of eating Ryvita for a couple weeks I’m thinking as I thank God   and how ever many apostles there were for giving me the foresight and wisdom of getting out of that one….

‘hey there….Stephen was just telling me you have him lumbered here to do the shopping…’  landing the thick fucker in it and he knows it.

‘Yeah we come up every Sunday just to pick up the little bits and bobs ya know yourself, they have a very good range of stuff especially in the healthy living range….’

She’s just made a liar out of both of them in one sentence. But I’ve already decided I’m gonna ruin his afternoon anyways.

‘Yeah I’m here for the healthy living range of beer myself…’ making the drinking motion with my hand

He’s had the good grace to look elsewhere and is leaning on the trolley like a 12 year old child that is about to fall asleep. I’d say if he was allowed he’d have opened up a pack of biscuits and start eating them out of the trolley.

‘Oh actually…’ I say with a grin… ‘they actually have that wine you like here’… he’s looking at me now… ‘ya know the one we got in Rome that time and we spent an age looking for it when we got home…’

She can’t decide whether to take a trip down memory lane or feel uncomfortable yet.

‘Sure she’s off the drink now anyways…’  He’s two seconds short of beating his chest.

‘Stephen…. It’s not like I’m pregnant or anything…’ she playfully slaps his arm but keeping eye contact with me.

‘I wouldn’t have thought that for a second’ – I lie. Her gym membership must have elapsed.

I don’t know whether he knows it or not but he’s sucked his teeth twice in the past twenty seconds. With this awkward silence I’ve decided I’m going to slip off before she tries to drag information out of me or he assaults me with a pack of BBQ Skewers within arms reach.

‘I’ll be seeing ya’s anyways…’ I have unconsciously thrown her a wink when I said this

‘oh yeah Ben, was eh nice to see you…’

I’m only feet away when I hear them start. ‘But babe you know I don’t even drink wine…’

It’s the little victories in life really.