Hairyfish dot org

Today is one of those days where I just wish I could have a second head and stomach and switch while you put the one you have on a spin cycle.

It all starts as a few thirst quenching pints of a Saturday evening to celebrate another candle on someones cake and before you know it your waist deep in peach schnapps after getting everyone to bail back to yours. A neighbour stumbles into your house mistakenly on his drunken way home and proves to be an impossibity to get rid of. His fiance eventually knocks on the door and throws me a scouldly look as if i abducted him!

I’ve spend 60% of my time today hugging a toilet and the other 65% wondering if I should ever consume alcohol again and the remaining 213% in the fetal position under my duvet praying for it all to go away.

Drink is evil.

In saying that now, i’d murder a tall cold one. . .

Nice biscuit - TICK
Hot scaulding mug of tea - TICK
Few minutes to enjoy both - TICK

Everythings looking up! Only euro a pop, these are my secret stash biscuits i came across last night which was  a god send as it ment i did not have to dip 4 kinda stale looking Jacob’s cream crackers into my tea!

First dunk of the biscuit and just as i was letting it linger as i was momentarily distracted by Irish Flirty Something’s last post and splosh kerplunk! RUINED! Do not under any circumstances dunk these biscuits into your tea, you are setting yourself up for anger, prolonged anguish and possibly tears.

I know what you’ll be thinkin, ‘god if this is all you have to worry about today’ etc etc and all that jazz well to be honest with you i’ve 101 things bubbling away but this just literally took the. . .well ya know where im going with that!

Just announced at the recent Bannana convention on Tuesday is the latest innovation in the way people not only WILL communicate in the future but it will be NECESSARY to communicate. Ladies and Gentlemen without further ado i give you the “POS* v2.0” (PieceOfString).

The much talked about and awaited launch took place amongst a lot of tech rumours, with various mythical whispers coming from the communications industry big-wigs:-

“We see the launch of “POS” as a landmark in telecommunications, I haven’t seen as much justified excitement since our prehistoric brethren danced around the first flames. Am I excited? Am I f**k!!”

- Pat Phelan - Max Roam / TwitterFone / General Sound Bloke

On the edge of people’s lips was the specification of this revoloutionary piece of kit. People were easily dismayed at the structural design of “POS V1.0” with it’s cheap-feel plastic texture, some would nearly compare with that of a yohgurt container, not durable, now is a sleek metalic finish which is designed for durability and even better data retention! Given a slick chrome finish that will turn heads the POS v2.0 is dripping in features that will leave your open sores aching as to how you lived your life with out it! There are two models, the single-way broadcast (one string) and the dual-band

Included in “POS v2.0” is greater connectivity (bigger cans), now improved range of coverage (longer string than v1.0) and now with ground breaking technology there will be included new social media gadgetry in the form of HyfBUD (HowsYourFatherBuddy), the gripping edge in social media networking, enabling Global Positioning giving the power the user the power to enable the power of the when, the where and never asking why!

“POS v2.0 is capitvating in the sense that it has taken everything by storm and captivates the user into capturing real life. It will really assist your social networking in instances when you’re say stuck in an airport or I dunno queing in a bank, or in the bank managers office. Or capitvating some young philly at a party. Once I get this bank loan HyfBud is gonna be your only man”

- Paul F Walsh – CEO PHD MDA MUFC HyfBUD Tech Inc. Segalalalala Ltd Inc. Plc.

My verdict:
We’ve seen what POS v1.0 has brought to the table, if you think you’re ready, if you think the world is ready (to know where you are at ALL times) well then “POS v2.0” certainly knows the who, the what AND the why, the only thing we don’t know is the price! For that? There’s always this!

But don’t take my word for it, I will leave the last word up to the people who know what they are talking about!

And for everything else there’s This , This and This and of course you don’t want to for forget This.

 *POS does in no terms stand for Piece Of Shit – it means Piece of String, weren’t you reading.

It’s surprising how much hayfever can actually effect your day. Each year the amount of tears and snot I shed varies. Last year I don’t think I suffered a single day with the sneezing and wanting to gouge out my eyes with a fork but this year I seem to be completely sucker punched by the airborne natural disaster! Many a day as a young lad were spend lying down in my bedroom with a wet tea cloth draped over my burning eyes listening to my friends playing football in the hot summer sun and not understanding why my body was acting like it had a cold

There’s no point in recommending drugs, I’ve used them all! And when I do use them I seem to become immune to them with the effects lasting less and less time. The injection is a waste of time plus who wants to be jabbed with a needle in the arse? The only one that actually worked was taken off the shelves because the ingredients were illegal!

I can however related 100% to people who are trying to kick a heroin habit, just leave them in a room full of freshly cut grass with my pollen allergy and tell them not to scratch their eyes!

So spare a thought for the poor folk who get afflicted with this curse ever year and sympathise with your co-worker as they sniffle sneeze and splutter through the working day!

Back in the swing of things for the time being and I’m finding some great links and blogs lately! Some really great posts out there, here’s what I’ve found over the past few days!

Alexia has just launched her new Blog , new look, new blog, still the same quality posting!

John Braine brings us a beginners guide to Wordpress and blogging platforms and why Wordpress is streets ahead. I’ve just added John to the Blogroll, i’ve been subbed this past couple weeks and he shoots out some top quality stuff!

The Biscuit brings us the worst case of interpipe/work inter relations since ‘the fairy incident’

One For The Road celebrates his blogs birthday and tells us what kinda year he’s had!

Need a new place to kip?

Roy is launching his site Ireland By Taxi! Looks to be a good idea, best wishes with your venture!

Five movies that sould never have been chopped and changed at the end! 

There are a number of things we just use on the web as a form of habit, you check your email, log onto airline sites etc and you go about your business. One of the site’s that i find I’m using more and more frequently is Meebo

Having different friends on different Instant Messengers is a pain, especially if you have to install the bulky software that lets you login and chat. A lot of these chat clients are loaded with advertisements and features you don’t really need plus everytime you login it seems to want to get you to download the latest huge update. Meebo really cuts out a lot of the messing involved with these clients. Their site is a one stop instant messaging shop! Simply either input your user/pass for the relevant chat service and your away in a hack, voila, all your contacts and chat windows in a browser window, not hogging your pc’s resources and runs like a dream!

You can also simply set up an account with meebo so when you sign in with one user/pass all the different Instant Messaging services will connect instantly and all your available contacts will be sitting, again, in on browser window! It couldn’t be simpler!

There are more features on the site, including chatrooms and blogging and such but i tend to just use it for hit-and-run style logging on to my IM. I would highly reccomend this site for surfers with a limited PC / Laptop that has seen better days.

Web 2.0 we <3 U

Link

No sadly nothing to do with alcohol. Sensible Units is a site that will convert any distance you input and give you something relative to compare it to!

1 Mile = 32 Olympic swimming pools.

6 Inches = 3.0 AA batteries end to end. (eh which ones are the AA’s…)

The distance you would walk to be the guy to fall down at her door = 16 Channel Tunnels.

This site is exciting for all of 4.26 minutes but worth a click of a boring Friday afternoon in the office.

Link

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

Laugh, and then some. . .

Link